So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
