If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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