so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i drank out of a bidet.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
