she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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