i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
