Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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