stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
