i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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