gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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