whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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