my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
