does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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