I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
