nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
