On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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