he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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