I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
