I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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