TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
