it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
