dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
