Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
