i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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