What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
