idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
