You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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