dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
