My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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