party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
