Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize