He kissed a someone with a penis
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
