that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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