I need help removing her.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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