yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
