i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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