Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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