im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Is Oprah even human
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