I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He did a backflip because drugs
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
