Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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