I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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