she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
