You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
