He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
