note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
