somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
