my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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