dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
