Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
