omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
