I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize