My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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