I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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