so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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