David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
