Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
