If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize