You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
